Episode 5: Burnout and neurodivergence - and how to support yourself if you choose

I'll copy and paste the transcript below.

If you'd like to support this podcast, you can make a one-off or monthly small payment (only if you can afford) on the following link: https://ko-fi.com/thequirkybraincoach

You can also support the podcast by sharing this episode on your social media profiles if you found it genuinely useful. 

The resources I mentioned in the podcast are as follows:

Raymaker et al's (2020) paper on burnout: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32851204/

Katie Friedman ADHD coach: https://www.katiefriedmanassociates.com/

Heather Cook, autistic life coach (resources on burnout): https://www.autismchrysalis.com/

Getting support

If you are feeling very burned out and unwell, consider talking to a trusted friend or family member to process how you're feeling and strategise how to look after yourself. You may also consider making an appointment with your GP. Finally, sometimes therapists can be helpful in supporting you to talk about burnout and heal from it. I'd recommend getting a neurodivergent therapist who can empathise with some of your experiences and work with you in a way that supports your brain and natural ways of being/communicating in therapy. 

Transcript

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Hi,

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I'm Doctor Rebecca Jackson and I'm the quirky brain coach.

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I'm a DH D in autistic and I'm a trained coach,

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helping you with energy motivation and self regulation.

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That's what this podcast is for.

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Let's dive in.

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So this episode is about burnout and I'm bringing you possibly the most ironic episode of the podcast yet,

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a podcast on burnout that was delayed due to needing to take a fire break to avoid burnout.

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We'll come back to fire breaks later.

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So,

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in this episode,

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I'll talk to you about what burnout is what it is in the context of autism and a DH D and the factors that lead to it,

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how I experienced burnout and how I noticed that I'm burned out the concept of the fire break and what we can do in line with our abilities and life circumstances to help ourselves recover.

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Here.

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I'll share my three step model for burnout recovery.

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As always,

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we'll end with a few reflective questions to help you understand your current relationship,

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to burnout and consider what you may choose to do to support yourself.

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If it's something that you want to do,

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I am gonna throw in a caveat here before we really dive in.

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Though burnout is caused in part by things that other people and organizations do.

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Moreover,

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dealing with burnout can in some cases make it more likely or worse.

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It's not fair that we sometimes feel like we have to make ourselves feel better when the cause of the burnout is not down to us.

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It's also not fair that we have to advocate for ourselves.

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Sometimes when we're already low on energy to make others meet their responsibilities safe in the workplace.

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In an ideal world,

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neurodivergent,

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people of all stripes would experience fewer external causes for burnout,

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but we're not quite in the ideal world yet as a result,

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sometimes to avoid burnout happening as much or as deeply part of that can be making others pick up their legal and moral responsibilities.

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It's not fair and I wish we didn't have to do it.

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But asking for help or advocating for your needs may play a part in reducing your likelihood of burnout self advocacy of some kind may be needed at some point.

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And I just wanted to flag that up in future episodes of the podcast.

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I do promise to share advice and scripts for self advocacy so that it can be done with minimum energy expenditure and the greatest chance of success in getting what you need from others.

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But the aim of the episode today is to help you learn about burnout and start to make sense of your own experience.

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So that's what we'll focus on this time.

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Let's start with what burnout is thought to be.

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Generally.

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Burnout is defined by the World Health Organization as an occupational phenomenon.

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People develop it as a result of chronic workplace stress and it shows up as feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion,

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increased mental distance from your job or feelings of cynicism and reduce professional efficacy.

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So,

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changes in your functioning at work.

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Now,

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the who says this is purely about work and not other domains of life.

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But of course,

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they would where do most adults experience chronic stress these days at work?

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However,

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whether or not your sources of chronic stress come from the workplace,

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you can get burnt out.

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It's just that the who thinks this is all about work because that's where most people experience it after the COVID lockdowns.

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However,

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researchers have started to note that other life factors can play a role note though that the definition does talk about changes in energy negatively charged emotions and a change in functioning.

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What it is important to say is that burnout isn't a medical diagnosis,

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you can't get officially diagnosed with burnout.

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I've heard psychologists talk about burnout as an umbrella condition.

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So there'll be some diagnoses potentially under that umbrella of the burnout.

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So someone in burnout might have official diagnoses of anxiety,

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depression or Anna Donia,

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which is like a loss of desire or wanting to do things but the actual label of burnout doesn't function as a medical diagnosis.

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Now,

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obviously,

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some of us do work in some capacity and though work might play a role in burnout,

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it isn't gonna be all of the stories safe for a DH D and autistic folks.

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Moreover,

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I feel and the research suggests some of us do work in some capacity.

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And though this might play a role in burnout,

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it isn't all of the story for,

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say,

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a DH D and autistic folks.

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Moreover,

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I feel and the research suggests that there are particular things linked to our neuro types that are different or need more consideration to help us avoid burnout or recover from it.

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So let's now turn to looking at burnout from the point of view of autism and I'm focusing on autism here because that's what most of the limited literature is on.

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However,

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it is starting to be realized that A DH D has experienced much of the same stuff and probably for the same reasons.

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So if you're not autistic,

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the info in the podcast should still be relevant and useful to you.

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You don't have to look for very long online to find autistic people talking about how and why they feel burned out.

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It sadly seems to be a common part of the lived experience for autistic people trying to exist in a capitalist society that focuses on productivity as a measure of somebody's worth in my view the most famous and useful paper on autistic burnout was published by autistic researcher,

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Professor Dora Raymaker and colleagues in 2020.

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If you want to look it up,

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it's called having all your resources exhausted beyond measure and being left with no clean up crew defined autistic burnout.

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But to save you the trouble,

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let me give you the key points on what burnout is as per that paper and what causes it.

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Raymaker and colleagues say that autistic burnout is different from workplace burnout and is different to say just depression.

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They say that autistic burnout is characterized by chronic exhaustion,

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loss of skills and reduced tolerance to stimulus.

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For example,

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sensory stuff.

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I'll come back to this.

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When I talk about my own experience.

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The authors also say that autistic people in the study reported negative impacts on health,

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their capacity for independent living and their quality of life in terms of what contributes to burnout.

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Though they highlighted some factors.

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They said that the chronic stress associated with autistic burnout can be affected by masking expectations from society and other people.

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And I would add from yourself.

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You'll see that when I talk about my own experience in a bit,

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I think they also highlighted actually managing things like disability or in my opinion,

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managing things like burnout life change,

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stress dismissal or gas lighting from others came up boundaries in self advocacy,

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not being in place,

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not taking break played a role in burnout.

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And the lack of external support was also identified as an issue.

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There is some good news though the paper also addressed some possible things that could help with avoiding or recovering from autistic burnout.

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And these were things that the participants discussed to themselves.

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So these suggestions come from other autistic people and the things that can help could be having supportive people around you attending to your needs.

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As an autistic person on masking,

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obviously with the caveat from me that you do that if it is safe and beneficial for you to do.

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So,

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they also highlighted using your natural strengths,

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adjustments in the workplace,

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having good mental health support,

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taking breaks and having time away from social interactions,

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having boundaries in place.

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And finally knowing what your patterns or tendencies are and making strategic decisions based on what you know,

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you need and why and that's what the formal research says.

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But you might also want to hear how an autistic and ADHD person has experienced real burnout in a bit more detail.

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And so I'll share what happened to me and see if it connects with your life experience.

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I had a huge burnout at the end of 2018.

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It changed my life massively.

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I cannot put into words how much it affected me and changed my life.

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But I'm going to try and give you a flavor of,

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of what happened.

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So I wasn't diagnosed as a DH D or autistic at the time and I just quote unquote thought I had poor mental health.

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Before that time,

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before I burned out,

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I had been finishing my phd and trying to secure a permanent job as an academic for almost two years now.

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Towards the end of my job search,

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I just gave up.

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I lost my nerve.

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I lost my confidence and I felt under pressure from society from myself to do what I thought I needed to do.

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And I also felt under pressure from the people around me who didn't hold back from telling me that it was time to get a proper job and stick at something for once in my life.

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And I felt this pressure be useful,

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be earning,

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be contributing to society.

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And as a result of that pressure,

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a lot of which was internal to be fair.

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I made perhaps the worst decision of my life.

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I decided to go into secondary school teacher training and it utterly broke me.

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I didn't truly want to do it.

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So the motivation and and the good reasons for doing it just work there.

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The university environment was noisy and the lectures were inaccessible in how they were set up.

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But the placement school did not follow the guidance on how to support trainees or the speed at which I was expected to do things.

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So,

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although I didn't know I was autistic,

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this was obviously kicking off some of my autistic tendencies towards fairness justice following the rules.

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And so on the placement school also had a five hour round trip commute each day with multiple changes,

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expectations from my uni or my mentors were communicated implicitly instead of explicitly and I didn't know who I was and I didn't know what I needed.

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So I didn't take recovery time and didn't feel that I could.

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And of course,

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without having that knowledge about who I was,

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I could not do anything really to craft my life to meet my needs,

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which we know from the research and from many lived experience accounts does help if you are able to do it even a little bit.

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So then there came the day that incident where we had the metaphorical straw that broke the camel's back.

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One day I had a session to run that was make or break for being able to stay on the program.

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They were going to decide if I had what it took to be a teacher.

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So everything was riding on me demonstrating skills in that session.

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And the day before I ended up staying up until 1 a.m. working on my slides and my lesson prep I was already feeling ill as if I was getting the flu.

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And about one ami did actually go to bed,

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but I got up at 5 a.m. and I could barely move.

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I just could not go to work,

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but I did try and go because I was feeling all of that internal and external pressure.

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So I got on the train,

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got halfway there,

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went to change trains and promptly threw up on the platform.

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I came home and I could tell the people in my personal life were disappointed with me that I got ill and couldn't do the make or break session.

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And obviously you can imagine how that didn't help and how I felt on that particular day.

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A short while later I left the course,

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but I was unable to function.

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And that marked the start of a six month period where I couldn't work.

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I barely left the house.

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I was eating terribly and not taking any care of my physical well being at all.

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I was just depressed and miserable and of course,

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that,

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that confidence loss that had led me to go on that PGC in the first place only got pounded and got worse.

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I had no confidence at all.

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And then finally,

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my misophonia and intolerance of other sensory stuff got worse.

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Even though I didn't really realize that was what had happened.

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Until a couple of years later,

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I went in a fairly short space of time from being a capable academic with a sharp mind to someone who could only manage to work one or two days a week in a cafe.

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Obviously,

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nothing wrong with that.

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I've worked in a cafe many times before and I like it.

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It's a good source of work,

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but it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life,

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but it did kind of link with that loss of confidence and it did lead to that disruption in my life and my life plans.

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It took me over six months to start getting better and that's actually fast for a big burnout based on what I see with my clients and other a DH D people.

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But I did get better and obviously I'm gonna share a bit today about what might help,

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But you can see that what happened to me is very close to what people reported in rainmaker and colleagues study.

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I would have been masking hugely even if I wasn't aware of it.

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And I would have faced a lot of stress and change and I would not have had much support for example.

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And of course,

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I also experienced exhaustion,

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changes in functioning and there was that changed relationship to the sensory stuff that the researchers describe what happened to me was horrible and I have no desire at all to repeat it.

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And what's really interesting actually,

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in the limited research that we have on autistic,

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people's experiences of burnout,

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many autistic people do experience a burnout as a traumatic experience.

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And so if you feel like that,

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I just want to validate that for you because I feel that my burnout did traumatize me,

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that was a traumatic experience for me.

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And I want to do whatever I can to kind of avoid that happening to me again.

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And also see if I can do anything to stop it happening for other people,

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I have no desire to repeat it.

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What happened to me was absolutely horrible.

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I found it really traumatic and actually in the limited literature that we have on autistic experiences of trauma,

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some autistic people in the research do report that their big burnout was a massively traumatic experience for them.

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And so if that's happened to you and that's your view,

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I just want to validate that for you.

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Burning out can be really traumatic.

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It's certainly what I feel and it's why I'm doing what I can to try and keep burnout out of my life.

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And it's also a driving factor in why I make resources like this podcast.

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I want to see if there's anything that I know or that I've experienced that can help other people.

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But the point is that it was absolutely horrible and I have no desire to repeat this however,

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by safely and on my own agenda and under my own steam by safely exploring and reflecting on what led up to my burnout and what the signs are that I'm getting burn out.

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I've been able to recognize some warning signals and I want to tell you my kind of warning signals in case they're similar to yours or it encourages you to notice your warning signs,

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I notice that if I get red in the face a lot,

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if I struggle more with annoying sounds and smells.

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If I'm much more irritable and snappy,

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that can be a sign that I'm getting burned out.

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And one really interesting thing is that if I'm pushing harder,

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if I'm working harder,

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if I'm ramping up and frantically trying to do more and to function,

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that can often for me be a signal that a crash is about to come.

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A burnout is about to come and that can be useful for you to pay attention to.

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And a last big one for me is that I struggle with sleep or more specifically,

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I find myself waking,

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got quite early and being quite anxious and I don't dream as much.

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So my sleep is not actually restorative for me.

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So those are some of the signs and signals that I have that I need to try and slow down and take a fire break.

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Now,

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of course,

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it is often easier said than done,

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as I've already mentioned at the beginning,

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a lot of the responsibility for burnout lies with other people,

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organizations,

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support service.

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This is it's not all your burden to shoulder.

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And I also recognize that I have a certain amount of privilege,

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but because I work for myself,

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it is OK for me to think about if and how I can take a break.

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So I do acknowledge that I do understand that.

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But I also believe that if you the conscious part of your mind is not able to make some kind of even a small decision to make something easier on yourself.

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At some point,

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your body and your mind will decide for you.

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If you think back to what I described about my burnout in 2018,

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my body and my mind absolutely decided if and when that was that burnout was going to happen,

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that wasn't a conscious decision on my part.

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I didn't take an active pause when it comes to burn out a fire break means putting in some kind of pause or change of circumstances that stops the burnout from hitting or from getting work.

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Let me try that again.

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With the fire breaks.

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I came across the concept of a fire break from the fantastic adhd coach Katie Friedman of Katie Friedman associates.

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The idea of a fire break comes from how we manage forest fires.

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The idea there is that you do something to the landscape to stop the fire from spreading.

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And when it comes to burn out a fire break means putting in some kind of pause or change of circumstances that stops the burnout from hitting or getting worse.

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Katie does like long walks allowing herself to tackle things one by one and spending time with valued friends.

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I've just had to put in a fire break for myself as I was starting to feel I was heading towards a big burnout and it was showing up with my body.

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So I found it helpful to treat my diverticulitis,

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take some baths,

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cuddle my dog more,

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cancel any meetings that were truly non-essential and talk to my partner and best friend to kind of face up to what I was experiencing,

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process my feelings and strategize what I could actually do to help myself with burnout.

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I also stepped away from social media and making content for a few days.

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Now,

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obviously,

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what you can do and what works on you or for you depends on your circumstances.

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So it isn't about replicating here exactly what Katie or I have tried.

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It's about finding the fire breaks that are accessible,

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safe,

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doable and workable for you in line with your genuine situation and in line with what's going on for you and what's possible for you in your life.

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So the fire break is one possible option from a general approach to how you might recover from burnout or avoid it.

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But I do have a three step process for helping my coaching clients avoid or recover from burnout.

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And I want to tell you about this three step process in case it helps you begin to do that,

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strategizing that Raymaker talked about in the paper.

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So you can think about what you could realistically and safely do for you.

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So I'm not the only neurodivergent coach who teaches a model like this.

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There's another amazing coach who takes a similar approach and makes a lot of videos and free workshop options on this topic.

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I can heartily recommend looking her up her work is fantastic.

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Her name is Heather Cook,

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the autistic life coach and her website is autism chrysalis dot com.

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But the way that I characterize the steps of the model is this step one,

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remove and produce.

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If there's anything in your life that you can cook completely or make easier or shorter,

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do so.

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Step two,

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rest and recover,

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allow your body and mind to rest and recover and become healthier and stronger.

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Step three,

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recharge and reenergize when you've been able to cut things out and have been able to rest and recover a little bit,

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you can go back to activities that take some energy.

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But in some sense,

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give you some energy,

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for example,

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deep interests or arts and crafts,

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that's the model itself.

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But of course,

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it's easier said than done and we do have to go back to my caveat.

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Not all of this is your responsibility.

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In fact,

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most of it won't be organizations and support services must eventually take over their part of the burnout burden.

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However,

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depending on your circumstances,

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they may not or cannot at this time,

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it's not fair and it's not right,

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but it could be true.

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Therefore,

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the first way you apply,

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this model is just thinking about what you would like to do for yourself at home just to give yourself a little bit of better quality of life in the day to day.

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So let's look at those three steps in a bit more detail and see if there's any kind of caveats or lookouts that would help you to implement that.

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So with step one removing and reducing your life circumstances will dictate what is possible and realistic to an extent.

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But there should be at least one or two things that can lighten the load for you.

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Even if it's just moving one appointment or getting a trusted friend to help you with the laundry for a week or two.

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Look for what is genuinely possible for step two,

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rest and recover.

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The lookout is to do what works for your quirky brain.

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I can't rest by being completely still and quiet due to my A DH D so often,

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I need to do yoga while listening to a very stimulating True Grime Podcast or take a bath while doing quite an involved meditation.

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So my brain something to do that lets my body recover,

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make resting work for you rather than being hard work.

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Step three,

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recharge and recover.

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I find that the hard part is not skipping to this stage too quickly or wanting to spend too much time there,

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too fast.

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And I think for a DH D impulsive types like myself,

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if we're feeling burned out and perhaps the dopamine stuff isn't working quite as we would need it to,

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this can be the temptation.

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So my initial answer to like stress related diverticulitis was to go star gazing as it makes me feel alive and energized was that the best thing for my physical body?

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Absolutely not.

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So a compromise was needed to allow my brain to get some juicy neurochemicals for a bit of a boost.

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And a kickstart,

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I allowed myself to instead watch stargazing videos and buy a cheap telescope.

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It's all a compromise and a work in progress.

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You are your own living experiment here in a way and you get to decide to a large extent what the best way forward is perhaps more than you realize.

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So that's the three step model,

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remove and reduce rest and recover and recharge and reenergize.

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So we have come a long way in this podcast.

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We've learned what workplace burnout is,

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what burnout is according to the specific case of autism,

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how I've experienced burnout,

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how firebreaks could help and a three step model that you may start using to support yourself in your own life at home.

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This is the part where you can pause the podcast,

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grab a journal and think about your own experiences at the moment and coach yourself on if and how you'd like things to be different for you with respect to burnout.

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So,

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pause here if you need to grab anything.

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OK.

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So here are the reflection questions.

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Number one,

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are you burned out based on the signs we've discussed in the podcast?

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Number two.

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What specific signs of burnout are you seeing in yourself?

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If so question three,

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what would you like to be different and why?

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Question four,

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what factors have led to you feeling burned out this time?

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Number five,

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if it would be possible to take a fire break soon,

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what would that fire break look like?

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And when could you realistically take it?

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Question six.

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When it comes to the three step model for burnout,

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what could you do to at least reduce or remove demands,

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appointments or social time from your day to day life in the short term?

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And finally,

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number seven,

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when could you begin to put in place some gentle and genuinely realistic changes?

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And what prompts or support do you need to help you do this?

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Hopefully,

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these reflective self coaching questions have helped you to see the first steps on the path to managing burnout in a way that works for you.

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As I say in future episodes,

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I'll address things like self advocacy and how to ensure organizations or other responsible parties,

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pick up their responsibility in the cause of burnout.

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But I wanted to focus on giving you some important initial information in the episode if you're not currently deep in a burnout and would like to work with a trained insured coach with lived experience on crafting your life to help you avoid burnout in future.

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You're very welcome to get in touch on your coach at the Quirky brain dot coach.

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I help a lot of people with this topic with good results in a fairly short amount of time,

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energy and Mojo management is one of my coaching specialisms.

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Thank you so much for listening to this episode.

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I hope it was useful if it did help and you feel it could help other A DH D or autistic people in your world.

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I'd appreciate you kindly sharing this around.

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Finally,

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if you wish to support this podcast,

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you can make a one off or monthly payment of just £3 on the coy platform form or coffee platform.

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My link is ko dash F I dot com forward slash the Quirky brain dot coach and any kind payments in support of this work,

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go to funding the podcast and the blog on my website.

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So,

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thank you very much for listening and see you next time on the Quirky brain coach podcast.