Season 1, Episode 6: Procrastination 101...and a compassionate model for helping

This episode explains what procrastination is and isn't, tells you about my experiences with it, offers a model for reflecting on and addressing procrastination, and helps you consider if/how you might apply it for yourself - all while taking a very compassionate and kind perspective. 

Note: because perfect is the enemy of done and I believe in progress and not perfection, this episode has a couple of small editing glitches. In the interests of meeting my goals, I decided to put out this episode anyway because it will help people - but I will re-record it at a later date. The transcript can be found further down.

If this podcast helps you, consider making a one-off contribution of £3 (only if you genuinely can) to help me with the editing costs and the time it takes to research and record these episodes. You can do so here.

You can also support this podcast by - if you need it - purchasing a copy of my meltdown information booklet and meltdown support plan template - just £3. Grab yours here. 

Finally, if you don't want to look at the whole transcript or listen to the whole episode to get the 6 steps of the 6C model for reflecting on procrastination, the 6C steps are:

1. Checking in with emotions

2. Clarity

3. Chunking

4. Commencing

5. Carrying on

6. Completing and celebrating

 

Transcript below: 

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I'm Doctor Rebecca Jackson.

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I'm the quirky brain coach.

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I'm an A DH D coach,

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coach,

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researcher,

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writer and podcaster.

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I help a DH D and autistic folks with zest self-regulation and executive functioning with a dash of authenticity and compassion.

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Along the way.

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Today's podcast episode is all about procrastination and a model for tackling it.

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Let's dive in.

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So procrastination,

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it's something we all do at times.

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However,

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for some neurodivergent folks,

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especially the A DH D,

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it's something that we can often encounter noticing my procrastination was the trait that actually got me thinking,

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oh,

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I'm an A DH D all the way back in 2016 more on that shortly.

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In any case,

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in today's episode,

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we're looking at what procrastination is and isn't my experiences of an relationship to procrastination?

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A six step model that I use to help myself and clients reflect on procrastination and how you can apply that model along the way.

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We'll be taking a compassionate lens.

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I know it might not feel like it yet,

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but procrastination is nothing to be ashamed of and it doesn't make you a garbage human if you sometimes put things off.

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Anyway,

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let's get into what procrastination is.

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Procrastination is about putting something off in order to come back to it later.

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But for some specific reasons,

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all humans do it.

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But it's very common for a DH D for example,

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to procrastinate.

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And at times for other neurodivergent people too,

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especially if they're low on resource or otherwise not feeling great.

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We all know that procrastination is about putting something off then.

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But do you know what the research says about why it happens?

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My own definition,

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understandings of procrastination are grounded in the research.

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And the way I see procrastination is as follows.

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Procrastinating is about putting off a task in the short term in an attempt to secure emotional relief from an unpleasant emotion that the task triggers or that you believe it will trigger if you were to engage with it,

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an example might help suppose I need to do some invoicing.

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I hate invoice,

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think it's hard.

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It's boring.

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I'm bad at maths.

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It doesn't offer immediate reward either as it takes a long time between doing the invoice and getting me paid.

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And I'm not that mad about money anyway as such.

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Although I have time to invoice,

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I often don't,

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I put it off the emotions I experience here are boredom,

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which is an emotion,

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but I also experience some anxiety because I fear I will do my invoicing wrong because of these emotions matters.

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I want to seek some relief and choose to do something more fun and interesting instead.

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So I'll go and make a podcast like this one and not do my invoicing.

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That's how procrastination plays out.

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But the example here also shows why it's a temporary and often not very effective coping mechanism when I go off and do a podcast instead of my invoicing.

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Do you think I'm fully enjoying the podcasting?

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No,

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I'm still thinking about the invoicing and I'm feeling guilty about it.

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So I'm not even enjoying the activity that I'm doing instead and I still have some of those emotions that I'm trying to avoid.

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Plus I still have the invoicing to come back to,

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I've put it off so that task is still there now for some creative tasks,

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a bit of procrastination is helpful.

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But in a case like this isn't,

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I still have to come back to and face up to the invoicing at some point.

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And it's perhaps these type of tasks that this podcast and my model might offer you most help for in any case.

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Although the research tells us that maybe the biggest factor in procrastination is emotions.

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There is a secondary factor that also plays a role and that's clarity or a lack of clarity,

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more specifically,

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we can be tempted to put off things that we don't have clarity on.

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In other words,

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when we don't know exactly what we're doing,

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how,

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why and the kicker,

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how long it going to take.

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So to come back to that example of invoicing,

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if I don't know how many invoices I have left and which are the oldest and I don't have the client information to hand.

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I don't have the clarity to engage even if I'm not feeling too emotional about it.

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So I will put off the invoicing and will come back to clarity later when I talk about the model for now as with all concepts that I touch on in this podcast,

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it can also help to know what procrastinate isn't and what is therefore unlikely to help with?

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It.

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Would it surprise you to know that procrastination is almost never an issue of time management.

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And in fact,

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using time management solutions to target procrastination often has little to no effect.

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When I tell people this in coaching sessions,

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most are very surprised.

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This all means that yes,

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there are emotions,

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emotional regulation,

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desire,

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motivation,

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clarity,

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all of those things will help with procrastination.

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But time management will either not be a factor at all or not be a big one that helps you.

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But I'll come back to some of those things that I have just mentioned in a bit.

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But the last thing to say on procrastination is that we don't actually want to demonize it.

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We don't want to get rid of it completely and throw the baby out with the bathwater because sometimes it does help.

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Sometimes it is necessary.

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First of all,

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research on creative people shows that an element of procrastination is a normal part of your brain,

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taking time to cook up and mull over an idea.

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Now,

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a lot of neurodivergent people class themselves as creative in some way or they might be thinkers or academics or researchers of some kind.

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And so these kinds of people of which I'm one actually need to procrastinate at times in order to give birth to our amazing ideas.

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Second of all,

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if a task is making you feel awful,

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then I do think it's sometimes the right thing to do to take a pause and regroup.

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It's right.

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If you're struggling to do something else for a short while and come back when you feel a little better,

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that's part of the emotional regulation.

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The key is to make sure you're making an informed,

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intentional and mindful choice if you do do that,

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thirdly and finally,

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as with all coping strategies,

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which procrastination is the fact that you need to procrastinate is useful information in itself.

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It can tell us that something isn't quite right with the task.

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And that gives us an opportunity to look at how we are approaching it and make any changes that we want to,

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so that we are more likely to engage when we choose or at least waste less time and brain power trying to force ourselves into doing things.

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So therefore,

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some people,

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not all but some find it helpful to appreciate their procrastination for any important signals and advice it gives through showing up in the first place for now.

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It might help you to know more about my own experiences.

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So you don't feel on your own with this.

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People can understandably feel very ashamed and confused about procrastinating.

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And many a DH D or autistic people have been shamed by others in the past for not acting quickly on things and for putting things off.

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So my story will hopefully help you to feel some compassion for yourself because you're really not on your own.

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With this back in 2016,

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I was working as a university lecturer and was living away from home to be able to do so I had a lot to do perhaps for the first time ever,

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I'd had other jobs.

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But my tasks and time management were tightly served to me that was all kind of taken care of.

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So I didn't have to use those executive functioning skills to manage my workload.

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I also had a lot more autonomy as a lecturer again that led to me needing to prioritize things and think about things for myself.

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But I also had not only more to do but less time in some respects.

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I wanted to keep weekends free because I wasn't living at home.

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So I wanted to be able to go back home and have free time to myself and with my partner at the time.

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And also I needed the time to travel between home and work was actually commuting between Brighton and Yorkshire.

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So all that really ate into my available time.

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I started to notice that I was putting things off big time and also to wonder why I was doing that.

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Nevertheless,

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I kind of coped in the respect that I did everything and I did it on time and I did it pretty well.

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It's just obvious now,

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knowing what I know that I must have experienced lots of anxiety and run myself absolutely ragged in the process.

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Still,

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this is tipped me off to the possibility of a DH D my procrastination.

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And so that's another sense in which I'm grateful for it.

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In some respect.

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I was in my office one day uh reading a book about the psychology of interest and engagement.

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And in one tiny footnote,

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there was a comment about a DH D being related to procrastination and a lack of motivation.

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I googled a DH D and thought,

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oh,

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that sounds like me.

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But on brand for a DH D,

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I've ended nothing with that knowledge for the next few years.

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At this point.

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I was still feeling very confused and very annoyed with myself and I felt bad about myself and I didn't know what if anything I could do about it.

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When I did get my diagnosis,

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I took the time to learn a lot about a DH D,

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talk to other A DH DS about it and about procrastination and also dive into the specific literature on procrastination.

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And once I'd done that,

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I felt a lot better about it.

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And myself,

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I knew that procrastination is something that all humans face.

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But a DH Ds in particular just may want to think about how they want to approach it and maybe having a better experience of it as well.

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Now,

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I would say that I have a much more neutral and balanced relationship to procrastination by that.

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I mean,

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I'm grateful for the messages it gives me and I see it as a signal that I need to stop change the way I'm approaching a task and make my task feel clearer and more enjoyable so I can do it if I want to.

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Yes,

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I still get annoyed by it,

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but I also know that fascinating can be part of my creative process.

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I procrastinated so many times on this recording,

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but I needed to,

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my ideas weren't fully formed.

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So it was right to go away and take the dog out for a walk so that I could get my ideas together.

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Yes,

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I do still have some negative feelings or discomfort when I put things off,

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but I don't feel bad about myself anymore.

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I know that when I put stuff off,

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it's just because the task isn't clear and motivating enough and there may be some emotions around it to process and deal with and that's just something that my A DH D brain needs to get started.

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It's not a moral defect and I am not lazy.

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I just need to spend some time getting my starting conditions right?

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And then I'll usually be ok.

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Now,

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my hope is that learning more about prost through this podcast and realizing you are not alone through my story and knowing that it's not a moral defect will help you not only cope better but feel better about yourself.

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So with all this in mind,

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then let me tell you about the six C model that I use to reflect on and help myself with procrastination.

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Take a second and identify a task that you feel you very often put off.

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My example was the invoicing.

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What's your personal example?

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Pick something that you'd like to be able to have a different experience of found something great.

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Let's see,

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then how the six things to consider can help you to approach it differently and maybe get it done.

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So as we said,

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procrastination is first and foremost about emotions and the avoidance of emotions.

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So the first C is check in with emotions,

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work out what you're feeling,

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why you're feeling it and think about something you can do to process that emotion or alleviate it in some way.

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This can sometimes be tricky for people who experience alexithymia,

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the inability to notice or label what emotions they're feeling.

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But there are models and channel and apps that you can use to help you with emotion identification.

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So just Google that stuff and you'll be able to find free practical supports that help you to work out what you're feeling and why.

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Once you know what emotion you are trying to avoid,

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then you can,

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as I say,

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do something about it and then we can move to the second C which is clarity.

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So I told you that a second factor in procrastination is not having enough clarity.

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You don't know what you need to do when,

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how,

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why,

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how long it will take you and so on.

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And so it can be a really good idea to take just a couple of minutes and find out those things.

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If that's something you can do on your own,

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say by speaking aloud or using a journal,

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that's great.

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If not,

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then you might need to ex steralized,

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you might need somebody else to hold thinking space for you.

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So that could be a friend,

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a peer or even a coach,

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but get clarity on what you're gonna do and get some granularity on how long it's gonna take.

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And,

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and the way you're going to do it and that coupled with a different emotional experience should help you to feel like you want to get going.

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The third C is chunking.

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Now,

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this part of the model is the equivalent to have you thought about buying a plumber.

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So do take it with a pinch of salt.

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But I find that it helps me,

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you can discard this part or craft it in your own image according to what you need.

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But it's still important to chunk things.

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OK?

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If I know that I have three invoices to do and they are gonna take me about 10 minutes each,

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then I,

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I could chunk that down into three slots of 10 minutes with a cheeky break in between.

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And I know and my brain knows that once those three chunks are dealt with,

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I am done with the invoicing.

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So check in with emotions,

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get yourself some clarity and break stuff down into chunks,

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then we are on to getting started.

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Ok.

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The fourth C is commencing and this is about doing a final check for any other emotional or motivational or even environmental barriers to getting started.

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Technically,

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if you've thought about and dealt with 1 to 3,

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then most times people can get going at this point.

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But there could be something else going on,

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as I say,

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it could be environmental,

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it might be sensory for some of us.

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Maybe there's some noise have distractions,

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you know,

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notifications coming in,

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there could even be unmet needs,

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right?

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You could know exactly what you're doing and you might want to do it as well,

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but because you're thirsty and haven't been to the toilet,

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you're actually not in a place where you can get started.

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So find out here for commencing what would make this comfortable,

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enjoyable,

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safe and interesting and build that in and make sure everything's dealt with so that you can get started with luck,

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you have made a start.

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Fantastic.

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Now,

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step five of the model is about carrying on.

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That's the fifth C.

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And for me,

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this is all about pacing,

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energy management,

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working in pockets or bursts of time and knowing when you are finishing as well.

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Also important is what you will do after a break to remember where you are.

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I will often not take breaks because I get into hyperfocus sometimes once I get started and I almost get afraid that if I take a break and I go away from my computer,

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I will come back and forget where I am and I won't be able to get back into the zone.

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But what you can do in it easy hack here is just to take a post it note if you're working on a computer and write down what you were working on and what you were planning to do next,

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like what the next step of the task was.

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And if you place that onto your keyboard,

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then you cannot help but see and pay attention to that because you have to move the post it note before you can do anything else.

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So with carrying on,

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it's all about the breaks you'll take when you will and won't work how much you're going for when you're finished and ways of coming back to things and continuing things when you do need to put things down and step away by the time you get to the end of five,

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you might just be done with your.

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That's my hope for you.

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And so the last part is really important.

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It's enjoyable and it's effective as well.

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We need to complete and we need to celebrate what we've done and celebrate what we've completed.

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So,

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a lot of overwhelm comes from feeling like we never finish anything.

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That's something that I find really hard to sit with.

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I can work and work and work all day.

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And then my to do list is just as long starting from tomorrow morning,

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but we do complete things.

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We do finish things,

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we just don't notice or log what we actually do achieve.

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And sometimes if you're a DH D,

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it's related to that we don't pay attention to our successes.

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Also,

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humans are weighted biologically to notice what goes wrong more than what goes right.

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And so we look at all the difficult stuff and think that's me.

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That's my life.

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That's how I see myself.

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And then we forget that.

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Oh,

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but actually I did three coaching conversations,

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three sets of coaching notes.

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I walked the dog and I cooked a meal from scratch.

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We have to celebrate and notice those things as well.

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So make sure that you log and pay attention to your successes.

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Um Here,

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my favorite intervention is called the Ta da List.

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Uh Many of us have endless to do lists of stuff that we need to do.

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But what about having a ta da list where you just write everything that you have done that can be really important.

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And finally,

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celebration is part of building healthy self concept and locking in habits and techniques that are actually helping you.

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If you try something like the six C model and it helps you to do a crappy task like invoicing,

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then you absolutely deserve to pat yourself on the back when you succeed.

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But also it can help to make a note of not just the fact you succeeded,

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but why you can say great,

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I did my invoicing,

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well done,

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Becky,

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but that worked because I applied the six C method.

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So next time I struggle with my invoicing,

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I'm gonna try the Six C method again.

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So that's the six CS of tackling procrastination.

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And within that there are some ideas for things you can try.

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I've already mentioned a couple of things.

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But when I apply the six C model,

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I use journaling to help me.

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Um Some of you will already know that I have a quite stable journaling practice that I do every day doesn't take long.

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But if I notice that I'm procrastinating on something,

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I can easily have a cup of coffee and put some music on and just journal quickly on the Six Seas and try and work out what's happening.

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But some of you might not like journaling or you might not have a stable journaling practice yet.

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That's definitely something I could help you set up through coaching to ask me if you need,

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but you could journal uh to,

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to make some progress,

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some of you may need to talk things through.

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OK.

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This is where peer support groups come in Facebook groups or similar uh trusted friends or family members,

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particularly if they're also neurodivergent in some way.

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And they can with you,

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it can help to talk things through.

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Now,

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if you're the type of person who doesn't like to talk to other people or it takes a lot of energy from you,

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then you can actually download something like Otter an app which is free for 10 hours a month and you can actually speak into Otter your thoughts about the task that you're procrastinating on and the Six C model.

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And not only will the act of talking potentially help you figure out your thoughts,

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but you'll also get a transcript with a summary free of charge for up to 10 hours.

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And that could be useful as a record for you to come back to when you're trying to remember how you're looking to help yourself.

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Then of course,

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the other thing you can do is bring something like the six C model into a coaching situation or if appropriate a therapy situation,

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you can use it in your discussions with helping professionals.

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So yeah,

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use it on your own,

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use it with others,

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but even just by listening to this episode and reflecting on it,

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hopefully some stuff has started to shift already.

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So there you have it.

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That is our podcast on procrastination.

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And what we've talked about is what procrastination isn't.

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According to the research,

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we've talked about my experience of and relationship to procrastination and how I feel about it.

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And hopefully,

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this has helped you to think a bit more kindly and compassionately towards yourself about this topic.

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I've taught you through my six step model,

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the six C model that I use to help myself and others and which you now if you wish can use on your own or with support to help you tackle stuff that you're putting off.

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So,

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thank you very much for listening.

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I've been Doctor Rebecca Jackson,

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the quirky brain coach and I will see you on the next episode.